What Happened To Monday

by Victor D. Sandiego | Created: Feb 05, 2018

This film had a lot of promise, but it veers off course pretty rapidly.

Let’s recap. Seven septuplet (is that redundant?) sisters conveniently named Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc. live together in a rooftop apartment. Each can only go out into the world on their namesake day because it’s against the law to have siblings. Overpopulation, scare resources, all of that stuff. You know the drill. No more double cheeseburgers.

At the end of each day, that day’s sister - who has ventured forth under the singular identity of Karen Settman – must pow wow with the other six on that day’s events so that everybody’s up to speed in keeping up the illusion of a single person.

By the way, when siblings are discovered by the Child Allocation Bureau (which also doubles as high tech SWAT and Gestapo), they are placed in a frozen sleep chamber until that magical day in the distant future when all food production problems are solved and their pretty little fleshes may be thawed.

Being a somewhat predictable sort of film, the absolute second that the cryo sleep commercial comes on screen with the friendly tech guy delivering the punch line “awake to a better world”, you know it’s bull. They’re killing the kids. You’d have to be asleep yourself not to see that coming.

Anyway, each of the seven sisters has a distinct personality, and within their apartment world, can express it. Outside, they must conform, but inside they can have red hair, blond hair, short hair, long hair. Many kudos (or more precisely, seven kudos) to Noomi Rapace for pulling off seven roles.

Things start to fall apart when Monday doesn’t come home one night and Tuesday goes out the next day to look for her. Since their singular alter ego Karen Settman works at a bank, Tuesday heads straight to the office and asks her secretary “Where did I go after work last night?” Quite the sort of thing that a secretary is used to hearing no doubt and therefore without batting a single eyelash tells Tuesday where Monday went.

At the bar where Monday went, Tuesday asks the barkeep “Was I here long last night?” and “Who was I with?”, again quite normal questions for a barkeep, at least in this dystopian future. Clues drift down.

All films must have a villain. In this case, it’s Nicolette Cayman (Glenn Close) who runs CAB and doesn’t have the dry humor it would take to come to work in a taxi. Later, after her inevitable downfall, she’ll say something like Jack Nicholson’s “you can’t handle the truth” because it’s a Hollywood rule or something. Like Tom Cruise on a motorcycle.

Anyway, Cayman cannot let the world know that seven siblings survived for 30 years. It would destroy her reputation. So, the goons of CAB need to get rid of the sisters and “keep it quiet.” By the way, if you look up “quiet” in the dictionary, you probably won’t find: enter the foyer of the apartment building, shoot the doorman in the head, bust down the apartment door, fire automatic weapons in all directions.

Later, after many harrowing escapades and quite a few gruesome deaths, the head blond goon is just outside the apartment door ready to burst in and kill the last of the nasty when nerd tech sister Friday launches her deadly gas/microwave oven attack that incinerates her and literally blows the entire top floor of the building to bits. Buys some escape time for sister Thursday down in the alley who uses it instead to moan and wail among the falling ashes. Also gives the viewer time to wonder why gas lines in the movies never need a crescent wrench.

Al least it’s good riddance to obnoxious head blond goon guy who was last seen flying backwards into the void engulfed by overwhelming force, flame and fury. Well, that’s what you’d think, but perhaps he had some sort of high tech body lotion smeared on his sensitive parts because about 10 seconds later he’s down in the lobby barking orders.

Well, you get the idea. Over the top for over the top’s sake. Still, it’s an enjoyable flick in many ways thanks to Noomi Rapace and other good performances. But don’t expect sensible responses from sensible characters. And be ready for supposedly brilliant bad guys to bring it on down to Rambo dumb.

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