How to destroy the internet

by Victor D. Sandiego ● Created: Dec 02, 2012 ● Word count: 101

First, take two corned beef sandwiches and post them on YouTube. While everybody is eating, dial your cable company from a long distance phone booth and ask for their service advertising department. They won’t be able to connect you. With nowhere else to go, backwash fills up the pipes that connect to central switching. Nobody can Google. Start a petition to ban paper. Now new bookmarks can’t be formed and through attrition, the few remaining ones disappear. Trademark the color blue. In a few months, most online stores go belly up. Repeat, substituting green for blue.

 

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